02.24.12

Each week seems to bring new or different challenges to face and work through.  Don's labs continue to be either too high or too low, with practically none of them registering normal numbers.  He will be retested next week again.  There isn't a current infection in his lungs however, and that's something to be thankful about.

The doc wanted to try Don on Ambien again but after 3 nights I am no longer giving that medication to him.  Don just doesn't tolerate it well so we'll find some other means to induce sleep; maybe just some chamomile tea!  Bodily functions have been an issue and I have had to change his bed linens and pajamas twice this week.  There has been some confusion and some lack of concentration that has me a little concerned.  Appetite has been only fair this week.

I'm starting to actually sleep during my rest time in the afternoon.  Usually, I just relax in the recliner to read or watch some TV during Don's nap but this week I have been dozing for 45 - 60 mins.  My sis, Barbara, calls me a couple of times a week to chat and I usually meet my brother, Richard, and his wife, Kathy, for supper during the week.  Both of these things help me to escape for a short time.  Last weekend Mark and Marcey took me to the dinner theatre and we had a wonderful time.  I am beginning to realize that as Don's health continues to deteriorate I will find the need to call on the hospice volunteers.  When the time comes that Don can't be left alone for a couple of hours, the hospice volunteers will sit-in for me so I can get away to grocery shop or go relax and have some supper with family or friends.

The daily devotion I read on Wednesday talked about Gods need to know we need him.  I think in the past few months I have talked to him many times about just that.  A caregiver can feel so heavily burdened without sharing their need of God with him.  Just the title of 'caregiver' lays a stress on your shoulders.  It's an instant assignment of responsibility and accountability that keeps the mind in constant struggle to balance EVERYTHING.  This little vent will help me to stabilize my personal gyroscope.

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