03.07.2012

The worst day of my life came last Monday, the 27th, when my darling Donald was called home to be with God  and the family and friends that have gone before.  This was a day that I have dreaded for over a year.  It was a day that I knew was to be expected yet would come unexpectedly.  That may not make sense to most people but it does to me.  The doctor told us early last summer that it would just happen because Don's body would just not be able to go on any longer. 

As I have stated before I started grieving many many months ago and Don, in his ever concerned manner, spent the past 2 months having me call places to verify this or that would be taken care of in the case of his passing.  We both knew this was coming and in the past two weeks Don must have told me 10 times a day "I love you, Sharon".

I'm typing this as tears run down my cheeks, but I feel I have to express these thoughts as an emotional outlet.  This journaling helps those left behind to come to terms with the stress and the loss.
Although the grieving started months ago, I still must deal with the feeling of loneliness and the many decisions yet to be pondered and made.  Don would want me to be strong and determined, but it's hard to think in those terms as he always took care of me and kept me safe. 

As a husband, Don was selfless and hardworking with a strong sense of responsibility.  During our early years of marriage Don had to learn how to be a little mellow and a little less intense eventually becoming the ultimate in consideration and thoughtfulness.  Yet, he always had difficulty with expressing his warmth as he seemed to believe that it was a sign of weakness.  Men didn't hug, men didn't cry, men didn't get pedicures!  I would tease him unmercifully!

I'm smiling now.  We had a wonderful 46 1/2 years of marriage.  We had our ups and downs which means we lived and loved and laughed and I am so glad I met him in San Antonio in 1964.

I love you, Donald.

~~