The End of a Stressful Year

This has been the worst year of my life.  Last winter I watched my darling Donald deteriorate and wither away to a mere shell of the strong active man that I was married to for 46 years.  Although he had been suffering for a few years, the actual decline didn't become so blatantly obvious until the summer of 2010.

Last winter Don was placed on hospice care and the nurses and therapists were so very caring and gentle.  One member of the team was here each day to assess his status, give a neck and back massage, help him to bath twice a week, or just visit to find out if he needed spiritual assistance.

Don passes the end of February 2012.  Two weeks later I had my annual CT scan to check my liver since I had liver cancer in 2007.  That afternoon I received the call that every cancer survivor dreads to get.  My liver had a new, albeit small, tumor.  I spent the next 5 months seeing specialists, have procedures done, getting several lab tests to check the progress of the tumor and the procedures. 
Finally, on August 14th I had the surgery to remove the tumor.  Two weeks later I was back in the hospital for 7 days with severe vomitting and diarrhea, tests were done but no cause was found.   Three weeks later I was, once again, hospitalized due to vomitting and diarrhea but this time a positive result was received for C-diff intestinal bacterial infection.  Apparently, I had acquired the bacteria during my surgical hospitalization.

This left my exceedingly weak, no appetite with a 25 lb. weight loss.  I have been sent to PT for strengthening excercises and evaluation because my right leg was much weaker than my left leg.
At this point I am feeling much better, my strength is returning.  Sad to say, so is my appetite!!

I am sure that, for the rest of my life, there will not be a year with so much stress, so much crying, or so much emoional self-diagnosing.  This is the Christmas season and I am trying to not think about it any more than is necessary or I will be a blubbering mental case!

This blog may be one of the outlets that will help me to get on with my life.  My Don would insist that I work at moving forward and staying active.