Medical Office Quotes

My Record of Patient Quotes

During the 10 years that I worked at the doctors office prior to retiring, I kept a listing of statements made by some of our patients.  When someone calls the office they are usually in need of an appointment, assistance with an issue, or have a question regarding the health of themselves or a loved one.  Care must be given when trying to help the patient since they are usually in some degree of stress or frustration.

The following are most of the quotes that I documented.  The patient or family member have no idea how their statement ends up sounding, they only know what they 'mean' to convey.

Please enjoy these actual quotes as they are humorous and/or just plain silly.

"I was at the Acute Care Clinic - they said I needed a normal doctor."

"I lost my tampon - can't find it!"

"Is the doctor an OB for pregnant women?"

"I accidentally took my dogs Prednisone!"

"I need a prescription called in and I can't come see the doctor 'cause I don't feel good!"

"I'm not surprised I found a lump in my breast 'cause I've had cystic fibrosis for years."

(at 9:18am) "My daughter has an ear ache and can I get her in real quick with any doctor?"

"Yes, Doctor R has a 10:15 available.  Would you like to bring her in then?"

"No, I was hoping for later - I'm a teacher you know."

"Okay, how about 3:45 with Doctor R?"

"Well...I was hoping for tomorrow after school..."

"If I pay cash can I get my test results sooner?"

"What was the date last Thursday?"

"...the 3rd" is the reply

"OK, so I've taken the pill 7 days.  Now, what day was the 3rd?"   !!!

"Do you know the number for Dr. Riley?"  I have a deep desire to answer "yes" and hang up!!

"I think I have a hernia, there's a bulge in my crotch."

I know for a fact that doctors, nurses, and administration in every office has many quotes that are similar and some that are more bazaar.  Serving the public is fun if you keep a smile and a sense of humor.