My Croatian Mother - part I

In Kansas City, Kansas there is an area in the oldest part of town that is called 'Strawberry Hill', which was a settlement of Croatian immigrants, most arriving between 1900-1915. Nearby was a neighborhood of Serbian immigrants. As I recall, the two groups didn't get along just as they didn't get along in the old country. In the Hill, there were Slavic owned businesses; my uncle had a bakery, some owned a hall for parties, furniture store, paint store, a couple of taverns (they were called 'beer joints' then), barber shop, etc. Funerals, weddings, baptisms, parties...all centered around the food and the music. Food and music were the glue that bound the community together and reminded them of the families and villages they left; it also helped them to find their way in this new country...it gave them their comfort food and soothed their souls.

This is really about my mother, Helen.  She wasn't what is known as educated or learned, she went to the 8th grade and beyond that, she was self taught.  That was fairly common among her generation and, especially among immigrant families where the older children were shipped out or put to work at an early age.  At 14, my mom was sent to live with an older sister to help raise her three sons.  I wonder how that would be accepted in today's America?

In this episode I'll touch on some things about my Mom with more discussion later.Helen grew up with a very strong work ethic because growing up in a poor immigrant family and then sent to be a 'helper' at her sister's house would tend to convince a young child that hard work was what you were suppose to do and that it was normal. 

My mother learned to cook from her mother and some of my dad's favorites from his childhood, she learned from him.  In Helen's world, both as a girl and as a woman, food played a huge part in the role of motherhood.  Feeding your family was one of the ways you showed your love and devotion to your husband and children.  I remember Mom telling the story about the fact that her mom would make a huge pot of soup from one beef bone with a small amount of meat.  There were quite a few potatoes and a few other root vegetables in the 'soup' that always had a lot of pepper, salt and onions.  Grampa would always get the small amount of meat from the bone because he had to go to work and make the money.  Mom said that all the kids got broth and a potato and that they would scramble to get the marrow from the bone.  There was never a hint of resentment or self pity, only fondness for a family experience that left her feeling loved.



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Below are some sayings that we all grew up hearing and found that we ended up saying some of them to our children.
•Money does not grow on trees.
•Don't make that face or it'll freeze in that position.
•If I talked to my mother like you talk to me....
•Always change your underwear; you never know when you'll have an accident.
•Be careful or you'll put your eye out.
•What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
•You have enough dirt behind those ears to grow potatoes!
•Close that door! Were you born in a barn?
•If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
•Don't put that in your mouth; you don't know where it's been!
•Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.
•Don't eat those, they will stunt your growth.
•If you don't eat those, you will stunt your growth.
•What's meant to be, is meant to be. (Mom only used this when something bad happened or when you experienced a disappointment.)
•It doesn't matter what you accomplish, I'll always be proud of you.
•I hope that when you grow up, you have kids "Just Like you"! (Also known as the "Mother's Curse")
•Because I'm your mother that's why.
•This is why we can't have nice things.
•If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
•Eat your vegetables, those children in China (Africa, Vietnam) would be happy to have some broccoli to eat!
•If you fall out of that tree and break you leg , don't come running to me.
•"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come." Usually said in advance of grounding.
•Someday your face is going to stick like that.
•Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
•Yes, I *AM* the boss of you.
•Because I said so.
•Just wait till your father gets home. 
•No dessert till you clean off your plate.
•I've got eyes in the back of my head, that's how
•Get that thing out of your mouth! (or nose)
•Just you wait until you have kids of your own - then you'll understand
•You tell that bully to cut it out or you'll tell the teacher...
•I slave for hours over a hot stove and this is the thanks I get?!
•Honestly... You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on!
•Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
•Who'll end up walking, bathing and feeding it...?